2020年10月10日 星期六

The ‘Easy’ Pregnancies We’ll Never Have

Let’s normalize all kinds of experiences.
A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.
Golden Cosmos

I have never had an easy pregnancy. My first was marred by depression, anxiety and extreme morning sickness, or hyperemesis; my second ended in a miscarriage; my third was the best of the lot, but I still felt nauseous and exhausted the entire time, and had a six-week-long sinus infection in the middle of it.

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I feel incredibly lucky to have had two healthy babies after those pregnancies, but I still mourn for those unhappy months, and wish they had been otherwise. And I very deeply identified with Priscilla Blossom’s honest and searing essay about the ‘easy’ pregnancies she will never have.

In honor of pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, she is sharing her story with us. As she puts it: “The loss of joy and wonder as a pregnant woman is a bit like losing your faith in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, in magic, or in God. Knowing what’s potentially behind the curtain changes something in you. Loss and high-risk pregnancies do that, except many of us don’t talk about it.” By talking about it openly, Priscilla helps us feel a little less alone in our struggles.

Also new this week, we have Holly Burns’s story about single parents dating during the pandemic — challenging in the best of times, and the virus adds another layer of difficulty. “Unfortunately, I swipe left a lot,” Kristen Benson, a single queer mom in Boone, N.C, told Holly. “Like, a lot.” Adrienne Day outlines how difficult it is to care for a small child and her aging parents right now — the demands of hospital visits and distance learning are too much to reconcile. The Times’s national desk has the first article in a series about how the pandemic has affected families across the country, featuring the Crawfords in upstate New York, a clan with six school-age kids.

Need tips on how to make Halloween safe this year? We got ’em. Fretting about moving your toddler to a big kid bed? We can help ease that transition. Finding your bedtime tales are lacking drama and getting a big thumbs down from your tiny peanut gallery? We have a guide for keeping your storytelling spicy.

Thanks for reading.

— Jessica Grose, lead editor, NYT Parenting

P.S. Has your child ever done anything that was kind of … creepy? We want to hear your stories! If you’d like to be interviewed, drop us a line here and a reporter may be in touch.

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THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

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Rachel Woolf for The New York Times

I’m Jealous of the ‘Easy’ Pregnancy I Never Had

Processing the trauma, and envy, that followed losing a baby.

By Priscilla Blossom

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Eleanor Davis

The Chaotic Circle of Caregiving

Parenting up and down the generational ladder has become almost ‘laughably impossible’ during the pandemic.

By Adrienne Day

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Carolyn Fong for The New York Times

Single Parents Finding Love: Over Zoom, of Course

Because dating with kids wasn’t tricky enough before the pandemic.

By Holly Burns

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Mohamed Sadek for The New York Times

Chaos — and Controlled Chaos

For Carl and Jesse Crawford, raising six young children was challenging enough. Now add a pandemic.

By Audra D. S. Burch

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Leon Edler

Is Your Toddler Ready for a ‘Big Kid Bed’?

Figuring out when and how to make the switch can be complicated. Here’s how to make this milestone easier for you and your child.

By Lynelle Schneeberg

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Min Heo

How to Tell a Great Bedtime Story

Remember the three Ps: pitch, pacing and pausing.

By Paul L. Underwood

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Frederic J. Brown/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

Can Halloween Be Saved? Yes, Experts Say. Here’s How.

You can still safely celebrate the ghoulish season, but trick-or-treating and other celebrations may have to be modified to protect against coronavirus infection.

By Aimee Ortiz

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Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories.

My 2-year-old is endlessly entertained by the tape measure. Pulling it all the way out and then walking it back to where I’m holding it makes him smile every time. — Katherine Caraway, Catawissa, Missouri

If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us.

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