2021年7月24日 星期六

Recognizing Postpartum Depression in Dads

Mood struggles for fathers, career derailing for moms, raising non-racist children and more this week in NYT Parenting.
A roundup of new guidance and stories from NYT Parenting.
Golden Cosmos

After giving birth to my daughter last summer, I was mindful of my mood and discussed any dramatic dips with my husband, knowing that new moms are at risk for postpartum depression. While burying my head in a stack of pregnancy books, I became aware that dads can also get depressed after their children are born, so I tried to keep a pulse on his emotions, too — probably annoying him in the process.

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An analysis of several studies found that 10 percent of new dads experienced postpartum depression, and at 3- to 6-months postpartum, that rate rose to 25 percent.

This week, Kim Hooper writes that with her history of depression, she thought she'd be the one fighting off dark moods after giving birth, but it was her husband who struggled with symptoms that she came to recognize as depression. "For men, symptoms may include frustration, agitation and irritability, an increase in dopamine-boosting activities (drinking, drugs, gambling) and isolation," she finds.

With the pandemic exacerbating both our internal and external struggles, Claire Cain Miller speaks to parents (mostly moms) who say the crisis has stalled their careers.

"I think a lot of women who weren't forced out count themselves lucky — but they were forced to be quiet," said Maria Rapier, a mother of three who left a high-stress job for a less-demanding position. "Even if they did get to keep their job, they couldn't participate fully because half the time they were looking over their laptop at their kids and the laundry piling up."

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Claire also explains why receiving a monthly child tax credit payment means parents are likely to spend the money directly on their kids rather than the household as a whole, as is the case with the yearly credit.

In Opinion, Melinda Wenner Moyer argues that to raise non-racist children, parents must talk to them about race: "Parents may believe their children are too young to learn about topics like prejudice, discrimination and violence. But it's possible — advisable, actually — to have age-appropriate conversations about race and racism throughout children's lives, including when they are very young."

In The Times Magazine, Leslie Jamison offers a personal and historical look at birth by cesarean section.

This summer, families are venturing out for trips with grandparents, siblings and other family members; Paula Span has tips for how to make the most of your multigenerational family vacation.

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Finally, Joshua David Stein's new book, "Cooking for Your Kids," collects recipes from top chefs that will appeal to children, making the dinner table less of a "battlefield."

Thanks for reading!

— Melonyce McAfee, senior editor, NYT Parenting

THIS WEEK IN NYT PARENTING

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Keith Negley

I Gave Birth, but My Husband Developed Postpartum Depression

Many men struggle with mental health after becoming fathers. But stigma and societal norms keep them from getting help.

By Kim Hooper

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Artwork by Christian Berthelot

A Personal History of the C-Section

When my daughter's delivery went off the script I had imagined, it made me wonder about what we ask from our birth stories.

By Leslie Jamison

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Carolyn Fong for The New York Times

Shorter Hours, No Promotions: How the Pandemic Stalled Some Parents' Careers

The disruption to child care could have long-term career costs, and the ones likeliest to pay are mothers.

By Claire Cain Miller

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Phaidon Press

Front Burner

How Chefs Cook for Kids

A new book by Joshua David Stein mines the parenting secrets of the world's top chefs.

By Florence Fabricant

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Emily Morgan

How to Have a Fun, Multigenerational Family Vacation

Sometimes a trip with small children means the same chores in a different place. Here's advice on how to make it a vacation.

By Paula Span

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Fran Caballero

Guest Essay

How to Raise Kids Who Won't Be Racist

Research shows that talking openly about race makes children more empathetic and raises their self-esteem.

By Melinda Wenner Moyer

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Tiny Victories

Parenting can be a grind. Let's celebrate the tiny victories.

Our 2-year-old is obsessed with "Old McDonald" and wants to listen to the song on repeat every single day. So we tracked down a swinging bebop version featuring Ella Fitzgerald. Sanity saved! — Lily Ellerin, Baltimore

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